Thank-you notes, demystified

My tree has been packed away, and the thumbprint cookies are just a frosted memory. I’ve made it through my first cold of the New Year, and as the winter holidays fade away, I’m left with just one Christmas task: thank-you notes. One ought not overlook the social grace of expressing gratitude to friends and family for their thoughtful holiday gifts. Even if you don’t like the mittens or the fruitcake, it was awfully nice of that person to get it for you, right? It’s muy importante to tell them how much you appreciate the gesture! Are you overwhelmed by the thought of writing personal notes to so many peeps? Let me walk you through it.

date Do try to write a proper thank-you note within two weeks of receiving a gift (I’m already late, Christmas was over two weeks ago. But I have an excuse: that horrible cold!). Traditional etiquette states that you don’t have to write a thank-you note if you opened the gift in front of the giver, and were able to thank them in person. But it’s still a nice thing to do. And remember include the date when you write the card, archivers will appreciate it in 2018 when they’re going through scrapbooks or boxes of ephemera.

what to write it on If you have personalized stationery, this is a great time to use it. If not, purchase or make a thank-you note or decorative notecards that reflects your personality. It doesn’t have to be fancy, but it does have to be an actual piece of paper – e-mail doesn’t count! Consider stopping by the Lunalux store to stock up on notecards or stationery.

what to say Think of a thank-you note as a social message – you don’t just have to say “thanks for the toaster, it makes great toast.” Include reminiscences about the times you were able (or not) to spend together during the holiday season, and follow-ups on recent events or conversations; try to make it not seem like a form-letter, or a dreaded obligation. Express gratitude not just for the present itself, but for the gesture of the gift. It’s nice of someone to buy you something, sure – but it’s even nicer that they think you deserve a present. For the advanced thank-you-writer, try to pen the entire note without actually using the words “Thank-you.”

delivery If you are sending the thank-you note via US Mail, make sure to write both the recipient’s address on the envelope, and your return address either on the upper left-hand corner or the back flap of the envelope (if there’s a problem with the delivery, the card will come back to you, and you’ll know that the thanking isn’t finished). Consider using a nice stamp that matches the card. If you are hand-delivering a thank-you note (say, to your roommate, or a cubicle neighbor), be sure to write the recipients name on the front. Think of the envelope as the wrapping on a present, and try to make it look irresistible.

Still need more inspiration? Consider these examples:

10 January 2008
Laurie – I’m so glad that you, Dave, Jessica and JJ were able to make it to Minnesota for Christmas. I love the rice cooker, I’ve already used it several times and it works like a dream. I’m really excited about the Cooks Illustrated subscription too – I’m anxiously watching my mailbox for my first issue! Happy New Year, and give my best to the rest of the Nashville crew.

Thursday Jan. 10, ’08
Dear Mame – I regret that I didn’t get to spend time with the Beihoffers on Christmas. It was so kind of you to shower Mark and me with such thoughtful gifts! The hand mixer will be put to great use when we make the Angel Food and Devil’s Food cakes. And the scarf is very beautiful. You are too generous! I’m glad you liked the cookies that my family made; maybe next year, you can stop by my parents’ house when we have Cookie Baking Day, see the whole clan in action! I hope you have a fun visit with Linda, Joey and new baby Diego, I look forward to seeing all the pictures when you get back.